On Leaving the Nest

As summer draws to a close and the school year comes crawling closer, nerves will start to kick in for many and excitement for most. I know I probably mentioned this a thousand times in my previous posts, but I'm going to mention it just once more  :)

A week or so before my first year of college started, my nerves completely abandoned me- so much so that I kept thinking 'Why didn't I just go to a community college and stay at home?' I was scared of leaving my home, my friends, my family, of being in a foreign place without the comfort of my parents' shadows where it was so easy to forget about my problems and take refuge in the fact that I was still a kid- in other words, I was scared of growing up. Of course, like other kids, I wanted to get as far away from my parents as possible and live independently- no curfews, no chores, no annoying siblings. But at the time, I would have gladly taken those things over having to leave my familiar lifestyle behind. I was scared of not making any friends, having terrible roommates that I wouldn't get along with, of failing my classes, not getting into medical school- basically all the things that could go wrong in college were integrating themselves into my future. Pessimistic much?

The last night I spent in my room, I spent with tears streaking down my face, making my pillow all too wet to sleep on. I felt like such a loser for being so scared of something that everyone went through eventually. Morning came and it was time for me to pack up everything and head out. Surprisingly, no tears came as I was leaving my house, just a dull heartache.

I got to berkeley, said hi to my roommates, unloaded my things, and spent the day walking around campus. When it was time for my parents to leave, I am embarrassed to admit, I was a complete mess while my parents were way too composed for my comfort (later I learned that my mom broke down while cleaning out my room when they returned). As I was walking back to my dorm, I looked around me without feeling so scared for the first time- after all, the hardest part was behind me (or so I thought)- and I took a deep breath and thought 'I'm finally a college student'.

You know the rest from there- roommates, classes, an occasional SF outing. Turns out, there was nothing to be afraid of. I visited home regularly and found nothing changed- except my sister took over my room- and I looked forward to going back to berkeley every time I was away. So to those who are feeling slightly scared and nervous about starting college, just remember, you're about to start an incredibly exciting part of your life- a part in which you will learn more about life, the world, and yourself than all the previous years combined. So work hard, stay safe, and most importantly, have the time of your lives :)

-K